Posts Tagged ‘socoipathy’

Everyone knows how a relationship with a sociopath leads to a disaster for the other side; but imagine a relationship with two sociopaths! It’s one hell of a ride. It’s a never-ending competition, and much more.
I had a relationship with a sociopath. At that time I wasn’t aware I was one, and, as far as I know, he still doesn’t know he is one.

Anyway, how does this sort of relationship work?

This dude is a brother of my friend I mentioned earlier, Dan. He doesn’t live in the same country so it was a distanced relationship, but I’ll start from the very beginning.
He visited during one summer break, and I knew he’d come so I had him targeted even before he came.
Unfortunately, the things weren’t going so smoothly at the start as another girl nicked him before me, but, I played it off by the usual sociopathic ways.
I took three days to analyze him, and made a mask according to his likings. But, there was the side I didn’t know then; he was doing the exact same thing with me. So, we made masks at the same time, and due to that, our masks matched perfectly. This probably caused us both to think “Got him/her”.
And as we were both making plans and plots, and were both up to play each other, the relationship was pretty turbulent. Both of us had snaps and crack downs if one would beat the other in one of the small games.
The fact stood those were mind games, and none of us cheated in a relationship. Although, the fights were horrible. They most frequently occurred while he was away and we held the contact via messages. That was a perfect time for toying, because the control was gone, and we were bound only to trusting each other. That is where I cheated though. I was hacking both his and his brother’s facebooks and observed their plots, so there were times I was a step ahead. Of course, we both held our masks on all the time, so the game was very fun. This is probably why it kept us going for so long. We were together for ten months before I finally broke up.

I found it strange while analyzing myself, after the suspicion rose, how that was the only relationship that did not fit the pattern. I never glanced at his behavior though.

During the relationship, we’ve had four smaller break-ups. And they would always end after he came to visit again. Sometimes I’d take the initiative for making up, sometimes it was him, but it was always the same. We did it because we both had so much fun trying to break each other. It’s like a dance under the masks, really. It all seems so smooth and natural and yet, it is all planned to the slightest details.

Once I got overwhelmed though, I had to break the game. He did beat me, but as he was older, he definitely had more experience. It didn’t end there though.

We kept in touch for some time longer, about three or four months. Then, he found something more interesting to play with, I freaked out because now I wasn’t getting the attention, and he just dismissed me for four months. That’s when I targeted the girls he switched to toying with, and, as they were from the same school, I created the war between my friend and them two. As they hated each other already, it was easy. In the meantime I found another boyfriend to kill my boredom as I was mostly passively observing the “girl war”.
After four months he got bored with those two, tired of their obsession with that war, and he contacted me again.
I know us, sociopaths, have the tendency to get back to our past victims if we get the chance to ruin them further, but considering the fact we were of the same kind, it looked a bit different.

This is the plain battle between two socios where the whole world gets pushed aside, and one is concentrated solely on the other. I wanted revenge, but had no way of enquiring it. He just wanted to kill time I guess. And we remained on that. Proving each other wrong about some meaningless things. Eventually, I got bored and simply cut the contact.

But he was still the only person capable of giving me a nervous breakdown and the want to stick around him still. It was all about the game. And it was nothing like any relationship I’ve ever had with any person I know.

And as I said, I wasn’t aware he was the same as me until recently, it finally made the pieces fit though. That wasn’t the relationship based on love as I thought. That’s what bothered me: How could I feel love if I was like this since I can remember?
But it wasn’t love for him; it was love for the competition and the thrill it brought after all.

Advertisements