Archive for January, 2014

{{I’ve been absent from this blog in a while. The main three reasons are:
1) I had no valuable material on my mind, so instead posting unimportant things and repeat the same things in a different form I concluded it’s better not to post at all.
2) As with many other things, I got bored of it.
3) I was more focused on doing research on the whole Cluster B group of disorders and analyzing myself along with it.

Now, I’ve come to numerous conclusions. So I’ll be writing about that here.}}

What really made me think was a random situation when Hayley and I came across some interesting personality tests on Psych Central site.
As I’ve probably mentioned earlier, I haven’t just decided that I am a sociopath right from the start. At first I doubted BPD to be my disorder for two years, although, I was bugged by the fact that some symptoms hardly matched with me. Then, I started doubting ASPD. Now, after I had done these tests, NPD gave me the highest results (it isn’t a diagnostic tool, but it is made by professionals). I scored 38 points on it – normal being below 17 I think, while on ASPD test I scored slightly lower. But, on BPD test the case was similar, showing the possible signs of it being present too. The fourth from the cluster, Histrionic personality disorder was negative though (which does not surprise me at all).

The point I am trying to make is that the Cluster B disorders’ symptoms overlapping is the highest among the Clusters.
So, I can’t label myself as a “pure-blooded” sociopath. Though some people tend to claim that a sociopath necessarily has to suffer from NPD too – which I consider incorrect.

First of all, not every sociopath is the same, specifically because of those other Cluster B’s interfering.
I know one sociopath (whom I truly despise) that is not even nearly narcissistic as I am. He is more devoted to just provoking other people and proving them wrong even if his opinion matches theirs for satisfaction. (For instance: he convinced the person to start believing in God even though he is an atheist himself, just for the sake of manipulation. I don’t do things like that.)

What these disorders have in common is narcissism to some extent, self-centeredness, lack of empathy and constant need for attention. So, they are all “emotional vampires”, but their personal goals differ.

Histrionics crave for any kind of attention, be it positive or negative. They want the spotlight, even if that means making fools of themselves. They also demand others to notice them and would gain that attention in the most pathetic way if needed.

Narcissists crave for glorification, approval and being recognized as the best of the best – irreplaceable. Negative attention is something they will avoid at any cost. They want to be recognized as flawless, never mistaking and capable of anything.

Borderliners are just afraid to be left alone, abandoned from the ones around them. BPDs also need approval all the time, but they will not go to the extremes of either histrionics or narcissists. Their self-image changes suddenly, and that is the primal reason they need others to lift them up once their self-confidence crumbles.

Sociopaths are a bit of both BPDs and NPDs, but certainly not HPDs. They want positive attention and glorification, and they will do anything to get it. Negative attention will cause open negative reaction and result in negation of one’s negative claim.

What is common for all four though, is that they will never accept scolding, nor stop believing that they are the best at some field they claim to be. Trying to prove them they aren’t can only result in them devaluating your opinion because “you are inferior” to them.

That was concerning their narcissism.

An evident lack of empathy lingers around all of them too, but the degree of conscience varies.

Histrionics and Borderliners do have conscience, and their exploit of others to a certain extent will cause them to feel guilty about it, knowing that it was a wrong thing to do, and they will try to change that. They are often not even aware of what they are doing until someone makes them think about it.

Narcissists and Sociopaths, on the other hand, are very aware of their deeds. They go with a mission of degrading a person and proving them they are inferior. They have no guilt of emotionally breaking people; they rather enjoy doing it, this ability being a proof of their superiority.
I often say “Most people are stupid and they need to be proven that, so I am going to do it for them.” Even if they are simply average in intelligence or some sphere.

All of the Cluster Bs also have the fits of rage, pathological lying, poor control over their behavior when “cornered” and the tendency to feel empty due to a lack of affection shown to them. They can all also self-harm, although for different reasons; like BPD would cut because of a depression stadium, a sociopath may self-harm to gain the thrill when there’s nothing else to cure the chronic boredom.

It stands for a fact that these “main ASPD traits” actually are the main traits of the whole Cluster B. That is why people, even professionals, often misdiagnose a person with these traits.
To be certain of which disorder is the leading one (I say leading, because it is a higher probability that they will overlap than be one in specific) you’d have to get into the person’s head.
All of these disorders include emotional specter too, since only psychopathy as an actual physical problem (dysfunction in the brain) excludes emotions. That specter is altered to a certain point though. But it is not equally altered for all four, which is actually the main reason of parting them into different disorders.

So, you cannot ever be sure if you are dealing with a narcissistic sociopath or a narcissistic borderliner, or a mere narcissist. Histrionics are easier to determine though, due to a behavior based on “I am an ultimate victim” pattern.

I would say that NPD is the leader here, as the symptoms of NPD are much more present in the other three, being the only disorder that can actually connect all of them at the same time.
One thing is for sure though; the whole Cluster B company is not very liked by the society in general.